June 4, 2007

Day+123. Well yesterday was another milestone in my life. On June 3, 2007, Barbara and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. I am truly a blessed man. Barbara has been a great friend, wife and caregiver. We have had a great run overall. Of course there have been some big bumps in the road, but with God’s help they were overcome.

Thank you for all of the offers for treadmills. I got one yesterday from a friend and did my first attempt to walk on it today. I was only able to walk at a very slow pace for about 2-3 minutes. Then my legs burned and got really shaky.

I still don’t have much energy. A physical therapist came this morning and has started me on some rudimentary muscle stretches and exercises. They are designed to slow the muscle atrophy process. Apparently I can’t undo or rebuild muscle strength while on the steroids. I can only retard the muscle loss caused by the steroids. I am supposed to do exercises and walk every 2-3 hours. This will be all I can do physically each day. There is puzzlement because my right foot is being so much more affected than the left foot. Oh well, I seem to be the odd one through this process.

My stomach still objects to most foods and is punky feeling most of the time. My appetite has not been too good but I force myself to eat to keep up my weight and strength. I have reverted to chicken noodle soup, toast, scrambled eggs and applesauce. Occasionally I’ll venture out to French toast or pancakes, a Snapple or canned peaches.

I am really getting to understand how the Israelites started complaining about manna. Just as God was supplying all their needs, he is supplying all of mine. However, I seem to have a different perception of what I want. It’s hard to be thankful when I’ve experienced a different type of God’s blessing for so long. I am beginning to understand that I have been expecting certain treatment as my rights, instead of relying on God’s grace. I’m thickheaded, but I am learning slowly.

Again, I solicit your prayers. May God’s will be done.