July 29, 2007

Its day +178 today. I don’t know how much longer I will use this counting system. When I get my second transplant, it will be at day +196 after the first transplant. However, I’m not sure whether I’ll be counting from the second transplant or the first. I hope the count starts over. My fingers and toes are getting sore from all of the counting.

Tomorrow is my last visit to the clinic before being admitted to the hospital on Thursday to start the conditioning chemo and transplant procedure. I’ll start my chemo on Thursday and the transplant is scheduled on August 16th, 14 days after the chemo starts. My donor is being worked up currently for collection on August 14-15.

I get less and less excited about going to the hospital every time. This time is no different. I am weaker each time I go in (and get out). This time is no different. This morning I weighed 173 pounds. I can’t remember when I weighed so little, probably in the 5th grade. A good weight for me is about 230 so I’m down quite a bit from normal.

The reason for the weight loss is probably that the multiple rounds of chemo is taking a toll on my gut. Also, I think I’m dealing with some GvHD. I’m not taking any systemic steroids or immune suppressant drugs so the GvHD is not being suppressed at all. The doctors are not sure the exact cause. I guess that is another example of why its called practicing medicine.

To make things more interesting Barbara’s lower back has been extremely painful for her. She tweaked it last Thursday and it is being slow at getting better. Because of her temperament she is not giving it much of a chance to heal. We are quite a pair hobbling around the house. Tomorrow is the first day that Barbara will not be taking me to the clinic. A good friend will be taking me for her.

I solicit your prayers. Going into this treatment I was quite sure that it was God’s will that I do it. Because of my weakened condition I am not as confident about getting through this round of treatment in relatively OK shape. God is in control for sure. However, I need a touch from Him to help strengthen my faith.